How to Live to See Another Day
We’ve all been there; getting ready for the night with your woman, she’s putting on her jewelry as you slip into your Drawlz. Both of you are looking forward to a night out together and some alone time after, patting your pockets to check that you have everything before you rush out the door
When suddenly, out of nowhere, she decides to ruin the night and drops a nuclear bomb of a question. Without looking at her you already know she has a raised eyebrow and an expectant glance over her shoulder. You also know that no matter what you say, it will be the wrong answer, she’ll be pissed off the rest of the night, and you’ll be sleeping on the couch.
Believe it or not, there are ways to answer these common pitfall questions that can keep the mood light but sharp— all you gotta do is:
Inject the right amount of humor
Add a touch of irreverence
Give her the approval and validation she’s seeking
Don’t sound like a bitch
Sounds impossible? No sweat, you’re in the right place. If you’re not one of those on-the-spot guys, check out these quippy, disarming answers to the most commonly asked set-up questions that will disarm her, diffuse tension, and save the evening.
Pro-tip: Bookmark this page and keep it in your back pocket.
1. ”Do you think she's pretty?"
“She’s cute… for a 4. But you’re the 10 that I’m stuck with, and I’m not complaining.”
2."Do you love me more than [insert random thing, i.e. Xbox]?"
“Honestly? I love you more than [random thing], but not as much as I love [other random thing]. So, you’re somewhere right there in the middle, which is a very special place in my heart.”
3. "Do you think [one of her friends/sisters] is better looking than me?"
“She’s not better looking than you—if she was, I’d be running for the door, not standing here answering this question.”
4. "Why do you love me?"
“Because you’re not as crazy as my last girlfriend, and you’ve got more patience than I deserve. Also, you know how to cook, so there’s that.”
5. "What would you do if I broke up with you?"
“Oh, I’d be heartbroken for exactly one week. On day eight, I’d be swiping right with my free hand.”
6. "Do you think I’m fun?"
“Fun? You’re like a reality show that I can’t turn off. Doesn’t mean it’s good TV, but damn, it’s entertaining.”
7. "Would you be jealous if I wore this out in public?"
“Imagine if I wore the same exact thing — you’d be devastated, worried sick about all the attention I’d be getting from other men.”
8. "Would you still love me if I gained a lot of weight?"
“Oh, I’d still love you, but I’m not paying for two airplane seats for one person — if you get that big, that’s coming outta your wallet.”
9. "Do you think you could live without me?"
“Yeah, I’d survive, but the real question is, could you live without me? You’d be a mess.”
10. "What would you do if I wanted to move far away for a job?"
“I’d probably help you pack.”
11. "How does my cooking compare to my mom’s?"
“Your mom’s a legend in the kitchen, and your effort is legendary. I can always tell when the effort is real, so you get an A+ for that.”
12. "Am I the prettiest girl in the room?"
“Get over yourself, you know you’re above average.”
13. "Would you date my sister?"
“Your sister? Nah, I’ve already been through the ‘getting to know each other’ phase with her and decided to stick with you.”
14. "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
“Sure, I’d still love you... but I’d also spend every night questioning how I ended up with a worm.”
15. "What would you do if I cheated on you?"
“If you cheated on me? I’d probably laugh, go out for a steak dinner, and breathe a sigh of relief after realizing I don’t have to pay for two people’s meals anymore.”
16. "Do you ever look at other girls?"
“I look at other girls the way you look at that last piece of pizza when I’ve eaten too much. Sure, it looks good and smells great, but I’ve got everything I want — and the consequences of going for it far outweigh the very short moment of satisfaction.”
Remember, always say these quips with a smirk and playful eye contact so she knows you’re kidding. Got any questions that need answering or better responses to the questions posed? Let me know in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by, until next time.
Anthony
Founder, Drawlz
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